- Within my last essay, we did. I feel I could demonstrate global revision especially. This whole draft of my essay was a mess. My organization was very weird and windy and didn’t make much sense. For my thesis, I didn’t really have one. So I was able to create a thesis that led better into each paragraph. In my rough draft, I had certain paragraphs in the wrong places but once I moved them around that fixed a lot of the problems with organization. For local revision, I had some errors within the piece like simple wording of sentences. For example this sentence “A quote that shows the love his father has for him is…” sounded rough so I changed it to “The love his father shows him is expressed as” I feel this sentence flows better into the quotation. Also when starting writing I had no idea how to create a work cited for an essay within an essay. I have had trouble the whole semester with this issue and I finally did some digging and was able to figure out just what I was supposed to be doing. Within the first essay, we wrote I only cited the book which the essay was in and it looked like this:
- BARRIOS, BARCLAY. Emerging: Contemporary Readings for Writers. BEDFORD BKS ST MARTIN’S, 2021.
Within the corrections given, I realized that I had to improve that for my next two essays. After fixing this it would now look like
-Chabon, Michael. “My Son the Fashion Prince.” Emerging: Contemporary Readings for Writers, by Barclay Barrios, Bedford Books St Martin’s, 2021 pp. 62-70
